I can’t begin to tell you how much this time with the Brimhall family meant to me.
Becky contacted me to do a shoot for them a while back. Having never met her, I would not yet know the impact that she and her sweet husband would have on my life.
Our shoot kept getting rescheduled, again and again. Not by her choice but- well because sometimes we are painfully reminded that God has timing in his own hands.
Driving to the shoot- I remember gripping my steering wheel and wondering what to expect. I had never done something like this before- and I wanted to make sure that it was light hearted while still healing and respectful. Upon meeting and hugging Becky- I knew that it was something good.
Photographing them was light and fun, there wasn’t a heavy cloud of pain and sorrow of awkwardness. There was joy- there was love. It was genuine, it was beat-up, kicked to the ground, get through it love. Unlike so many of the young couples I get to photograph, there was a deep intensity, a grip that these two had on each other and their surroundings. Like they knew about this secret fragility that everyone else seems to ignore.
You see, the reason we kept rescheduling our time together was that Jesse and Becky faced head on the thing that every young couple desiring to be parents fears; miscarriage. Not once, or twice, but three times she had to face a doctor that told them their unborn child had no heartbeat.- ugh. my own heart hearts at that.
Never will be I be able to articulate the strength, courage and faith that this couple has. But I can tell you this. It happens. In fact it happens to more people than you would realize. Studies show that about 8 to 20 percent of women who know they are pregnant have a miscarriage some time before 20 weeks of pregnancy; 80 percent of these occur in the first 12 weeks.
Friends, it’s not brave of me to share openly about miscarriage. It’s not brave at all; it’s desperate. I share because I know that secrets kept quiet burn away at the interior of a soul and so, as painful as it is, I say crack open wide and ask for Jesus to come in. I ask him and he does. He comes through you and through those willing to love in the vulnerable, messy margins and in-between spaces of a life undone. Because he loves us, and there is no doubt in my mind that after photographing Becky and Jesse that LOVE WINS. Love conquers sadness and brokenness. Love wins against fear and shame and doubt. Love wins when we feel like we are loosing everything.
I hope that you enjoy these images, and are encouraged that LOVE WINS.